March 9, 2010, 10:28 pm
Filed under: party girls, Uncategorized

Armani has been killing it on the Oscars carpet. To mine eyes, they had the top spot last year (Anne Hathaway’s dress) and again this year (Amanda Seyfried’s dress).  The loveliness and some of my pet peeves, in no particular order (except for Amanda, who gets #1):

Firstly, it was abundantly clear that both J.Lo and Seyfried were wearing the same designer, same collection – I thought that there are people who get paid well to make sure such a thing does not happen? Is a stylist out of work? These ladies gave us two pieces from Armani’s iridescent bubblewrap collection. And I’m calling it bubblewrap in the best possible way. What cool fabric! J.Lo’s was pink, Amanda’s pale green. They were both lovely, but in the Battle of the Bubblewraps, Amanda wins on silhouette. The super-sleek and structured swoop-up bodice combined with the full skirt – and of course, that amazing fabric – made her look like Space Princess. And with her giant eyes, she does Space Princess well.

I am madly in love with this fabric. Have I mentioned that? I like this iteration well enough, and J.Lo is doing a valiant job of trying to pull it off, but this much “look” really appears to be for the tall and straight only. That is a lot of look. The dress is, as they say, wearing her. Charlize could have pulled it off. Or Nicole. Or Joy Bryant. Very tall. Very straight.

Speaking of Ms. Theron, anybody who is sort of John Galliano’s muse is someone I shall envy – – and someone who will not be showing up in boring dresses. Get over it.  Her rose-boobs dress was actually pretty restrained for John. That’s what he’d have her wear to the grocery store. Some folks are throwing tantrums over the fact that the design of the dress highlighted Charlize’s breasts. Um, really? This is the first time in history a dress has highlighted a woman’s breasts? I find the image of satin folds abstractly evocative of beautiful roses decorating a woman’s breasts to be quite lovely. It’s certainly one of the more elegant ways it’s been done. Charlize’s neckline was straight across, hardly any cleavage. The colors were beautiful. The red lip and very simple everything else? The perfect foil. Elegant, feminine, graceful.

On first glance at Carey Mulligan, I was disappointed. A black strapless? Really? Snooze. But then I realized that the bodice of her dress was decorated with forks. And scissors. And watch gears. So random. So cute. All quirky-adorable-whimsical. Totally Carey.

SJP really pissed me off.  She always really pisses me off. Because I despise Sex and The City and Carrie Bradshaw and it is impossible for me to separate her from that. She doesn’t really want me to. I liked that neato Chanel dress she had on though. It was pretty and interesting and unexpected. If only it had gotten a cooler wearer. One without an *enormous* hairpiece. That dress deserved better.

Well played, Demi. The color is spot on. Love the superfrilly skirt. She just needed a touch more in the chest area because she was looking a little got-too-skinny-and-lost-the-boobs.

Penelope Cruz is too hot for all these boring dresses she wears. Who is her stylist? Penny, call me.

Zoe Saldana’s Givenchy. It was pretty. Yes it was. It could have used a bit more “editing” to make it more carpet-friendly. But it was pretty. And she can wear anything. And it was *interesting*, dammit.

Generally, what was with all the gold? Again, I thought there are people who get paid to make sure this does not happen?

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