Statement Dresses
January 3, 2011, 12:27 pm
Filed under: statement dresses

This is Statement Dresses, a new feature I’m trying out wherein I post a picture of a dress and then give it a little caption noting the *statement*, you see, of the dress or its wearer or etc. Maybe I will keep doing it, or maybe I’ll get distracted by something shiny and never do it again. Iz possible.

                Jennifer Lopez. J to tha L-O.

 My dress had to be dipped in molten platinum. And I am doing my famous sexyface.  

And I am ze zexiest woman alive.

 

Jamie Foxx

I am an enormous tool. My staggering douchebaggery requires me to wear an ill-fitting shiny silver suit and very carefully skewed shiny scarf. I mean, if not for the BULLSHIT performance I gave “honoring” Michael Jackson, I might have gotten away with all of this STEEZE. However, considering the degree to which I’ve solidified my status as a complete asshat, I get no pass. WTF was I thinking? I am not Will Smith!

Kim Kardashian

Look, loooooook at my luscious bosoms. Starrrrre into the abyss of my mesmerizing cleavage. Marvel at the way my pillowy breasts burst forth from under my sparkly Jetson Shoulders dress. I got this.

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