Met Gala Countdown: That Time Karen Elson Shut It Down
April 28, 2017, 10:11 am
Filed under: art, beauty, best of, jewels, makeup, met gala, ornaments, party girls, statement dresses

Karen Elson. Dolce & Gabbana Alta Moda.

2015 Met Gala: “China: Through The Looking Glass.”

Look, there’s only one right way to approach The Met Gala, OK?

Total Carpet Shut-Down. Behold, Karen Elson:


The Making Of. 

The bodice adornments were applied on the body. Mindful of risking Karen’s fair complexion and red hair veering too far into Elizabethan territory, her glam squad avoided high hair, white-out paint and the centered cupid’s bow. They instead gave her a modern touch via sleek hair, a slightly-winged eye and full lip, rather than replicating Karen as Queen Elizabeth by Kevyn Aucoin, below right.

The Carry-Off.

This was a whole lot of look, that could have gone wrong in less capable hands. Karen carried it with a mix of regal air, humor, ease, and joy.     And she Shut. It. Down.


Met Gala Countdown: Royal Edition
April 26, 2017, 9:00 pm
Filed under: art, jewels, met gala, ornaments, party girls, vintage

Princess Diana, 1996 Met Gala.

A slip dress, appropriately enough for the 90s.

Navy satin, black lace – –  and you know that ain’t no costume jewelry.

This was John Galliano’s first-ever gown for Dior.  Fashion history.

met gala diana 3

The dress.

met gala diana face

The jewels, hair and makeup.

met gala diana 2

The back, the bag and the bubbly.

met gala diana 96

The Di shy-side-eye.


Gwen Stefani Steeze
December 4, 2013, 11:28 pm
Filed under: Gwen Stefani, ornaments, party girls

Nylon Magazine

1 Gwen Stefani Nylon

InStyle Magazine

2 Gwen Stefani InStyle Magazine

Hollaback Girl

3 Gwen Stefani Performing B

Salvatore Ferragamo

4 Gwen Stefani Salvatore Ferragamo

Street Style, Flight Suit

5 Gwen Stefani Street Style A

Elle Magazine

6 Gwen Stefani Elle Magazine

Blue Hair, Fuzzy Bikini Top, Bindi

7 Gwen Stefani Blue Hair

Street Style Stripes

8 Gwen Stefani Street Style F


9 Gwen Stefani Performing C

Old School, Bindi

10 Gwen Stefani Old School Bindi

Bazaar (Bonus: in John Galliano for Dior!)

11 Gwen Stefani Bazaar

Street Style, Houndstooth + Fedora

Gwen Stefani & Boys Catch A Flight At LAX Airport

Wind It Up

13 Gwen Stefani Performing A

InStyle Magazine

14 Gwen Stefani InStyle Magazine B

Street Style Specs

15 Gwen Stefani Street Style G

Harajuku Girls

16 Gwen Stefani With Harajuku Girls

Louis Vuitton

17 Gwen Stefani Louis Vuitton

Leopard Shorts

Gwen Stefani Visits MTV's "TRL" - December 7, 2006

Street Style, Easy

19 Gwen Stefani Street Style B

Stella McCartney

20 Gwen Stefani Stella McCartney Sequin Jumpsuit

Street Style, Johnny Depp

gwen stefani 260912


SexyDesktop Wallpaper Image

Gavin Rossdale T-Shirt

23 Gwen Stefani Street Style E Gavin T-Shirt

Fan Bingbing, Cannes, Ulyana Sergeenko, Chopard. Because, WOW.
July 19, 2013, 3:33 pm
Filed under: art, ornaments, party girls


Super Late Met Ball Stuff
May 9, 2011, 4:19 pm
Filed under: art, ornaments, party girls

So, I mean, the whole *point* of the damn Met Ball is to get crazy. Exspecially when it’s a tribute to Alexander Freaking McQueen and titled Savage Freaking Beauty.

AND YET…. (depressed monotone)

nude column

nude column

black column

black column





Annnnnnnnnnnd now for some YAY! INTERESTING! FABULOUS! CRAZY! FUN! looks:

my easy pick for best non-McQueen:


(karolina kurkova, jean paul gaultier)


(liv tyler, givenchy)


(ginnifer goodwin, custom topshop)


(hilary rhoda, alexander mcqueen)


(freida pinto, chanel)


(jennifer lopez, gucci)


(anna wintour, chanel)


(doutzen kroes, giambattista valli)


(isabel lucas, louis vuitton)

And, so, my wish for next year’s Met Ball is a moratorium on:

(1) nude columns (suck it, Michael Kors);

(2) black columns (Penelope Cruz, we are fighting);

(3) nude platforms (GODDAMMIT already);

(4) simple one-shoulder gowns (there’s a time and a place, people, and the Met Ball is not it);

(5) fishtail hems, BEYONCE;

(6)StellaGoddamnMcCartneyIDon’tCare*Who*YourFatherIs; and

(7) the plague upon humanity that is Sarah Jessica Parker.

Oscar Fashion Wish List
February 25, 2011, 4:01 pm
Filed under: art, ornaments, party girls, prince

1. Floofy, interesting Marchesa gowns. Like, mebbe some of these.

2. Giant, colorful John Galliano dressbombs.



Celeb/Stylist: Howzabout these?


Celeb/Stylist: Well then, what about these?


Celeb/Stylist: …..These??



Celeb/Stylist: Ooooh, I know…these!

(Celeb/Stylist meets with unfortunate accident involving being thrown into the East River whilst wearing nude platform pumps *encased in concrete*.)


3. More jewelry that is not standard issue Neil Lane white diamond stuff. Also, hair jewelry. Also, hair flowers.




4. No one-shoulder gowns. I don’t hate them; I actually like them. But, it’s been one-shoulder overkill. So, take a break. Well, ok, if you REALLY want to wear a one-shoulder, make it a super-interesting or super-beautiful one, ok? Like this one.




“Balls are to men what purses are to women.” – – SJP, Idiot.


6. A female-type person wearing a pants outfit that is not a tux. Perhaps some sort of edited version of this.




7. Some grilled cheese sandwiches for all those hungry actresses. Here, have a sandwich, lady. Mmmmmmm.




8. Prince. Why not? Also, his style rules. And, um, he’s PRINCE.  Bow DOWN, bitches.



9. No EEKK! makeup. (EEva Longoria/Kim Kardashian Makeup)

You know, the “oh looky, i have on fourty thousand pounds of primer (to, uh, prime?), concealer (to conceal), foundation (to spackle) and powder (to set);  topped with cheek stain (to glow), cream blush (to contour) and powder blush (to set); plus eyes topped with at least two sets of false lashes (to attract spider friends) with each genuine minkhair lash encased in four thousand coats of Dior mascara and curled into spikes with the ol’ Shu Uemura, and circles of black liquid eyeliner (for DRAMA); all completed by lips painted with balm (to smooth), primer (to, uh, prime???), a custom-blend of 2-5 lipstick shades mixed to create the perfect skin-tone match, gloss (to gloss) and lip plumper (to enhance the effects of that filler, baby)” look. It consists of wearing an incredible amount of makeup, all applied in neutral and nude shades, giving the delusional wearer the idea that she is sporting a “natural look”. However, piling on  a load of nude-colored makeup does not make you look nude. Or natural. OBVIOUSLY.

9. An appearance by Maru the Cat. I seriously think Maru should get an Oscar for Best Short Film/Documentary or something.





And pocket squares for the gents. There are not nearly enough pocket square-wearers in the world.

November 3, 2009, 12:52 am
Filed under: ornaments

god, i really love chocolate cake. i mean, what is better than chocolate cake? and not that half-assed dry, crumbly garbage. that crap is blasphemy. i mean the flourless-it’s-basically-fudge cake. or the “molten” cake with the center of chocolate goo. i shall bathe in the chocolate goo. and then i was like, hey, you know what, cake is not only delicious, but it can also be really beautiful. check it:










October 28, 2009, 3:03 pm
Filed under: ornaments, Uncategorized

brollies! (yes, rihanna will be involved, i can’t help it.)

why umbrellas?  cuz oooh baby it’s rainin’ rainin’…

brolly 1920s wedding

brolly purple

brolly folded parasol

brolly wedding

brolly red lace

brolly like missoni

brolly antique print

October 23, 2009, 12:03 am
Filed under: ornaments, Uncategorized

Disney. Tim Burton. Tom Binns.

Something fashion-y inspired by Tim Burton’s very distinctive vibe, created by a neat-o designer with funding and distribution by Disney? Oh, yes please. To coincide with the release of Burton’s Alice in Wonderland starring Johnny Depp, Disney will be rolling out a series of apparel and accessory lines inspired by the film and designed by fashion types, not Disney types. Somebody is a licensing genius.

Generally, the idea of Disney-approved apparel conjures up gag-worthy images of random crap covered in Mickey ears. But, I can’t imagine (here’s hoping) Tim Burton or Tom Binns going for that. Disney seems to be getting more comfortable with an increasingly explicit recognition of the adult themes of some of its “children’s” films. Cartoon movies, especially those born of The Brothers Grimm, have always had story lines dark as hell. But in the past, Disney’s insanely profitable merchandising  business has largely stayed away from the dark, preferring to churn out pint-sized, sequin-covered versions of its princesses’ dresses. Now, it looks like Disney’s consumer products division is ready to take a more sophisticated approach as the merchandising planned for Alice will include some decidedly adult goodies.

Johnny Depp may be partly responsible for Disney’s attitude adjustment. Apparently, Mickey freaked the hell out during filming of the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie when he got wind of Depp’s drunken, sexually ambiguous, guy liner-ed, Keith Richards-based Jack Sparrow character. Well, Johnny told Mickey that he wasn’t going to water down his take on the character, so he could like it or shove it. Mickey was still nervous for fear that the character didn’t jive with Disney’s family-friendly image, but reluctantly went along with it. And then Pirates hit and hit big — mostly because of Jack Sparrow.

Disney must have learned something there since combining an already heavy-on-the-acid story like Alice with the minds of Burton and Depp pretty much guarantees a  dark, cracked-out film. And then they chose Tom Binns, CFDA award-winning jewelry designer, to create a jewelry line inspired by the film — a jewelry line presumably *not* requiring Mickey ears on every piece. Binns is already pretty famous for being a favorite of Michelle Obama. He is known for “punk couture” designs which mix elegant, classic elements with coarser, rock and roll details. Man, if that doesn’t sound like the perfect fit for Tim, Johnny and Alice?








October 20, 2009, 11:51 pm
Filed under: ornaments

vibrating makeup? really? methinks the cosmetic companies must be completely out of ideas cuz this is just stupid. lancome is not the only one to jump on the bandwagon, but i think they have the funniest ads. first,  they came up with “oscillation – vibrating. infinite. powermascara.” um. does it have batteries? it sounds like something you buy at home depot. i don’t get it, and i would probably blind myself with it. now, lancome brings us “oscillation powerfoundation – microvibrating. polishing. mineral makeup.” microvibrating??? who the hell comes up with this stuff?